You just landed in Dayton, Ohio after a long, overnight trip from SFO. While waiting in Denver at a layover, you checked your phone to see the news: After nearly a week of confusion and uncertainty, Sam Altman is back as CEO of OpenAI.
The good news is that the Slack workspace of the small tech startup you work for will stop being flooded with memes, only some of which are really good. Your coworkers may know how to code, but they don’t always have an eye for humor. No matter how content you are, living your dreams in Silicon Valley, it’s always good to go home and get back to basics.
Mom: “Ah, my one and only child! I’m so glad you made it home! San Francisco is a long way away!”
You hug your mom and tell her how good it feels to be back. Your dad gives you that awkward brother hug where you shake hands and then pat each other on the back, because even though it’s perfectly normal to say you love your dad — the man who literally raised you and changed your diapers as a child and you coached the Little League team until you realized that computer science was more interesting to you than baseball — you’ve been socialized as a man and therefore, unable to tell your father that you love him.
Dad: “Busy week huh? I saw Sam Altman’s guy is back… what happened there?’
There it is. You really don’t want to talk about it – startup life is hard and demanding, and as much as you love what you do, you really want to spend a few days away from it all.
“Oh yeah, I’ll tell you later, let me drop off my bags!” you say.
Climb the ladder to your children’s bedroom. There’s a “Big Bang Theory” poster that makes you feel incredibly embarrassed, but you were in high school when you bought it.
You turn down and start chopping vegetables to help your dad, whose hands are covered in turkey giblets. The bell rings and suddenly, the whole family rolls in.
Uncle Steve: “Hello! Long time no see! Too good for us now that you work at Facebook?’
You do the sibling hug again, then clarify that you don’t work for Facebook, and actually the company is called Meta now anyway, but you’re really excited about the B2B SaaS company you work for and —
Uncle Steve: “Oh yeah, that Elon Musk, he’s really something, isn’t he? Are you changing your Facebook name to Meta?’
You correct him that, in fact, Mark Zuckerberg is the CEO of Meta, but yes, Elon Musk bought Twitter and changed its name to X, and it was really crazy. Your college roommate, Pablo, got laid off last year and was really upset, and finally found his feet, but at one point you tried to get him a job at your B2B SaaS company, which is working on this really amazing —
Uncle Steve: “Right! This is the Tesla guy! But those AI things, huh? What happened there?”
Here it comes. The OpenAI conversation.
Fortunately, your aunt intervenes.
Aunt Carol: “Oh, Steve, it’s too early to talk! How is life out there? You have a girlfriend?”
Somehow, your Aunt Carol found the only topic you want to talk about less than OpenAI. Startup life is so busy and you’re sure your Tinder Elo score is it low since you just open the app and maybe that’s why you don’t get many matches? Well, you spin.
“Yeah, things at OpenAI have been really crazy. They just randomly fired CEO Sam Altman out of nowhere, and no one knew why, and then the chairman resigned as well. Investors were furious, because suddenly this company that was supposed to make them insanely rich was in turmoil, and no one knew how long this whole ordeal would last. Microsoft has a huge stake in OpenAI, so they offered Sam and Greg jobs, but almost everyone working at OpenAI said they’d quit if Sam wasn’t reinstated, so it was a whirlwind… Oh hey, it’s not” game continues ?”
You follow your aunt and uncle into the living room and turn on the TV. You’re not very good at soccer, but you know enough to get by. When you first graduated from college and worked in consulting, you used to study football scores to have something to talk about at networking events, and sure enough that led you to your current job at this really exciting B2B SaaS startup that actually —
Uncle Steve: “Go Buckeyes!”
Your attention returns to football. As you learned in your summer session at Wharton, the best way to lead a conversation is to ask people questions about the things they like.
“I saw something about some acquisition at Texas A&M, what happened there?”
Uncle Steve: “Well, during halftime, Texas A&M is presented with this huge $165 million check from a donor, and the next day, guess what? They fire their coach, Jimbo Fisher, and give him $76 million to buy out his contract! Sounds like something that would happen in your world, huh? By the way, I still don’t understand the whole OpenAI thing. They do that Chat GTX, right?”
Oh no. Like many things you learned in that Wharton summer program, your knowledge failed you.
Your cousin Jennifer looks up from her phone and speaks for the first time.
Cousin Jennifer: “No, Dad, it’s ChatGPT and Kayla used it to write her college essays and yet I entered.”
You excuse yourself to continue helping your parents prepare Thanksgiving dinner. As you peel the potatoes – being careful to point the peeler away from you and not towards you – the bell rings again. She’s your Aunt Pat, who works for a medical billing firm in Cleveland.
As you greet her and lead her into the family room where the game is taking place, she tries to make small talk.
Aunt Pat: “Everyone at work is talking about AI! We use this Salesforce Einstein all the time. So, did OpenAI get a new CEO yet?”
“Oh, um, Sam Altman is back now, but before that, they appointed Emmett Shear, who founded Twitch. This is a live streaming platform owned by Amazon, many people use it to stream video games and more. Yes, people like to watch other people play video games.”
Cousin Jennifer: “Yes, my girlfriend is a VTuber.”
You desperately hope your aunts and uncles will take the obvious bait and ask Jennifer what the hell VTuber is. This would buy you a few solid minutes of peace. And VTubers are way cooler than AI executives. But no one follows it. You’re about to ask if Jennifer’s girlfriend has a mocap setup when —
Uncle Steve: “Wait, does anyone know what that Sam guy did wrong?”
“We don’t know yet, but the said COO Brad Lightcap that most of the management team had no idea and that this was certainly not some kind of breach of safety standards or financial standards. It is likely that it all came down to ideology. Some people think that Sam is being too aggressive about developing smarter AI as soon as possible, and in theory, OpenAI is supposed to build AI responsibly, and maybe he was moving too fast to be responsible? But there’s this whole other faction that thinks we can’t slow down the inevitable, so everyone’s online fighting about it. The official reason the board gave was that he wasn’t transparent with them, but that could really mean anything! Personally, I’m glad they got everything sorted out before Thanksgiving, because of that he can really relax and stop thinking about everything. Oh, I have to go check if mom needs help with the pot.’
They don’t take the hint.
Aunt Pat: “Don’t be silly, when we got in I saw the pot was already out of the oven. So, what do you think of all this AI stuff? It definitely makes my job easier, but I don’t want it to take away my job, if you know what I mean!”
“It’s hard to say at this point. For now, I think it’s hard for genetic AI to replicate human creativity, but it can certainly automate tasks that would take humans longer to complete, which makes sense because it’s so useful for you at work. By the way, how’s work?’
Aunt Pat: “Oh, it’s the holidays, I don’t want to talk about work. Well, I hear there’s been a lot of layoffs in the Bay, do you think your job is safe?’
“Yes, actually, I think what my company is working on is very innovative, and innovation is the best job security. We are a B2B SaaS startup and what makes us different is that –”
Aunt Pat: “Wait, wasn’t there something about the board structure that made this whole thing so confusing? What happened to the OpenAI panel again?”
You smell the unmistakable aroma of turkey coming out of the oven. You collect it, knowing that in a few moments, your interrogation will be over.
“Hey, OpenAI is some kind of tax-exempt charity wrapped around a holding company that has a majority stake in OpenAI? It’s kind of confusing. But it’s kind of like trying to be a charity and a for-profit tech giant at the same time, but the non-profit arm had control over the for-profit arm, which made it possible to accidentally fire the CEO. That’s really different from how companies like Meta operate, as Mark Zuckerberg owns so much of the company that it’s impossible for the board to fire him.”
Dad: “Dinner is almost ready! Start making your way to the table!”
Oh boy, dinner time! You spend your time bringing every dish to the table, minimizing the time you spend alone with your relatives, who just won’t stop asking you about OpenAI. As everyone devours their plate, the conversation slows down and finally you can enjoy the peace of coming home.
Uncle Steve keeps making “aah” noises every time he drinks his wine. You don’t think there’s anything that could bother you anymore tonight, but this is family, right? Suddenly, he raises his eyebrows as if he remembered something.
“So,” your uncle asks. “What’s the deal with this CZ guy?”
